Peyton – Why is my poo green? Yesterday it was yellow. I have RAINBOW butt!
Nathaniel – Ohhh! You said the word you said I couldn’t say even if I was on fire.
Rachael – What do you call that? *poke poke*
Me – Muffin top
Rachael – You might need to lay off the muffins, mom
Me – I wish you listened better
Peyton – I wish you said better stuff
Nathaniel – MY new room will be a girl-free zone!
Me – I’m a girl, am I going to be banished from your room?
Nathaniel – No way, you do my laundry, you can come up any time.
Me – *sigh*
Peyton – I didn’t know your boobs have eyes!
Me in McDonalds – If you make that clicking noise one more time I’m going to have them cut out your tongue, deep fry it and serve it on a bun with special sauce and THEN? You have to eat it!
McDonald’s Employee – *extremely dirty look*
Me – Soooo, what did you think of getting to spend the whole weekend with your cousins? (Teenage cousins that my kids are just getting to know)
Rachael – They like boys!
Me – That’s it? THAT is what you learned about your cousins?
Rachael – Well, they…they…yeah, they like boys.
Nathaniel – Chowder (a cartoon character) has MAN-Boobs!
Peyton – Were we born in order of age?
Nathaniel – Can I have a Facebook account?
Me – Nope
Nathaniel – Why not?
Me – Because I want you to have a chance at being a useful member of society?
Nathaniel – But YOU have one
Me – I’ll let you figure that one out on your own